What's that smell?

Easter Bunny comes;
brings treats and hides painted eggs.
Hope we find em all.

For Whardier (From Jill)

Though beer may be shit,
and is loved by the masses,
I am not a fly.

For Jill

Don't be a pussy
It isn't gonna kill you
Guinness is the shit

Artillery Queen

I bought a cute gun;
aimed it and killed three Coke cans.
I am triumphant!

Lucky Dry Hump?

Mister Brannigan,
Your last post was very odd.
What does it all mean?

Chena Hot Springs

Mineral Water
Aurora Good luck dry hump
Ugh. DNA Stew.

Pwned!

Too much time I spend
but I can't haiku like that.
I admit defeat.

That last one right there?
You are the haiku master.
Respect, grasshoppers!

My yard's dirty too;
And two can play at that game:
Haiku verse at length.

Wikipedia
(Even though it often lies)
says true haiku's short.

Ten to fourteen syllables, but I like length too.

Breakup

Hello there, brown grass.
I'll see you next winter, snow.
Let's welcome the sun.

It's been a while, yard.
Did you get browner, or what?
Oh look, dog feces.

Prisoners, kudos!
Chain gangs mean it's cleanup time.
Hey. You missed a spot.

Don't look at me, sir.
That garbage isn't ALL mine.
Just that one pile, there.

BP branded bags
It's the least you can do for
all your negligence.

Child Logic

But Mama, Mama!
Why can't I have this candy?
It's only midnight.

Good Morning!

hai hai hai hai hai
hai hai hai hai hai hai hai
hai hai hai hai hai

Cheap beer

An ode to cheap beer
You taste like ass for real
But ah, there's that buzz.

Hangover du jour
Sleepy all day, pee all night
8 bucks a dozen!

Poor fallen soldiers
Littering my garage
Proper burials!

Manhunt

Prowling the bar scene;
Who will be my next victim?
I heart one-night-stands.

ho-hum work

boredom setting in
crawl under my desk and snooze
no one will notice

Bonus++

Maybe a new car?
Possibly a camera?
Bills, probably bills.

This Bonus Check is Burning a Hole in my Pocket

Flying through the night,
hair whipping back in the breeze.
Motorcycle dreams.

Aunt Flo

Dampness in my crotch.
Painful cramps, but the bright side?
Hooray! Not pregnant.

sushi

handrolls are heaven
culinary orgasms
fresh fish from the sea

Eight Endless Hours

Fridays are boring.
Waiting for the clock to say
it's time to go home.

Thursdays

I am going to die,
Furry little turd maker.
'Dust Free!' my left nut.

Mayo

(Note: earlier today I was encouraged to haikublog my enormous disdain for mayonnaise. I don't think the following really does justice to my deep and vast hatred for that vile concoction, but it's a start.)


Looks like rotting pus
chunky oily oozing snot
decomposing flesh