Allitera-shun

Alliteration
Avoid alliteration.
Always, any, all.

Thanks!

Thank you Japanese!
You make poetry easy!
Now I can sound smart!

Look on the bright side!
At least you have work to do.
Unemployment blows.

Working Hard?

Good lord, I'm so bored!
The day drags on forever.
Time to go home now?

I Still Love You, Haikublog!

so lame when we fail.
what happened here? we forgot!
more haiku this year.

Ode to the Road

Road guys, I love you!
Or do I really hate you?
Open the damn road!

Uppermost in my Mind Lately

HURRY, dividend!
I cannot wait to spend you,
and save a little.

I need to move out!
Also: buy a camera
because mine sucks ass.

Alaskan Christmas!
Thy name is dividend and
I want a wii too.

("It's for my kids," but
who am I kidding, really?
I will also play.)

Hurry, dividend!
And also, while I'm dreaming:
Target open soon!

IRC Bot Fun

I have me a bot
He forces me to play him
So sick and twisted

Cotton Swab

You feel good in me
I like to fluff up your head
Then throw you away

Another Preggo Reference

Listen up, bitches!
Haiku don't just write themselves.
Give birth to one now!

For Zap

The pregnant pauses.
"Just gas," she sighs wistfully.
"Maybe tomorrow?"

Tragedy!

It's been a month now
and none of us have haikued.*
We should be ashamed.



*Is there a past tense
for haiku? Haiku (no -ed)
doesn't fit the bill.

Inadvertent Haiku

Inspired by this, something a friend made: http://tinyurl.com/5cjcsc

I responded with this:

"I would love a vise; I'd love to make my own too"

Realizing I had inadvertently almost made I haiku, I followed up with:

"But I missed shop class"

Sometimes the best haikus are accidental.

Road Construction Love Song

Graders a' gradin'
and bulldozers bulldozerin'
make Jen a smooth road.

O, Construction Guy!
I haven't glimpsed you yet, but
in my mind you're hot.

Thank you for my road!
Only just begun, but still
I see the future.

Pothole free, I see,
And nearly two miles shorter.
Yay! for Stealthmobile.

O, Roadwork Crew Guy!
I want to bake you brownies
just to say Thank You.

Radio Contest Redux

LocalRadioStation had ANOTHER haiku contest, and this was my submission. The DJs read it on-air, but I still didn't win. ::sob::



Geoffrey Castle's* strings
sing like heavenly angels.
I wanna hear too.

Go to Platinum Jaxx
All my worries swept away
on a violin

Free drinks? Free meal and
awesome free entertainment?
Dude, I am so there.

I am so broke and
my job is very stressful.
Winning would be nice.

I haiku for you
I was denied once before
You owe me, Mister!


*In the original email, I misspelled his name, but otherwise this is unedited, even though I'd REALLY like to change that second "so" to "quite."

Breakup Mud

My driveway is soup.
I park at the neighbor's house
and hike through the woods.

No Bars

What I want is this:
A phone that works at my house.
That's asking too much?

Kamikaze Fish

You were so lovely:
peacock blue tinged with purple.
A senseless death. Why?

Ego Rap

Trust me I'm a pro.
All you other nerds should go.
It's how I roll, yo.

Community relations

Beer with the neighbors
Talk about everything
Holy cow, he sloshed.