Manhunt

Prowling the bar scene;
Who will be my next victim?
I heart one-night-stands.

ho-hum work

boredom setting in
crawl under my desk and snooze
no one will notice

Bonus++

Maybe a new car?
Possibly a camera?
Bills, probably bills.

This Bonus Check is Burning a Hole in my Pocket

Flying through the night,
hair whipping back in the breeze.
Motorcycle dreams.

Aunt Flo

Dampness in my crotch.
Painful cramps, but the bright side?
Hooray! Not pregnant.

sushi

handrolls are heaven
culinary orgasms
fresh fish from the sea

Eight Endless Hours

Fridays are boring.
Waiting for the clock to say
it's time to go home.

Thursdays

I am going to die,
Furry little turd maker.
'Dust Free!' my left nut.

Mayo

(Note: earlier today I was encouraged to haikublog my enormous disdain for mayonnaise. I don't think the following really does justice to my deep and vast hatred for that vile concoction, but it's a start.)


Looks like rotting pus
chunky oily oozing snot
decomposing flesh

kwitcher bitchin

Haiku. Hai who? Oh!
You want me to write something?
Maybe tomorrow.

Awesome Logic

You can drop a tab
You can drop a piano
You can drop your pants

Morgan le Fay

Fata Morgana.
Dividing the horizon.
Beautiful Mirage.

Bendy

There would be no spoon,
If I could change history.
There would be no spork.

Oww My Brain

No mercy for ice.
Magnesium chloride doom.
I will slip no more.

Caturday Morning

Caturday Morning
Wonderful wittle kittehs
Neologism?

Parrot Envy

Avast ye matey!
You'll be walking the plank soon!
Don't touch my Polly.

Poo Eww

Bad cat, why you poo?
I step in it with my shoe.
Hope you like the cold.

The Morning After

I laughed at his plight:
Drinking too much made him ill.
I should have listened.

Local Sports Bar

Gonna go to town,
Watch the freakshow at the bar.
Pour me another!

Hefeweizen

Broken and confused
Awake now - I hate the day
Beer - My enemy

Wildlife

Sir Moose, why stand still
until I take a photo
one more blurry shot

Meow

lounging kittycats
smooshy purry balls of fluff
Scream! watch them scatter

Saturday a.m.

Saturday morning
sun streaming in the window
get out and DO stuff

Traffic

Bite me, asshole! This
road is big enough for two.
Don't make me ram you.

Relationships

Being alone: good.
Being lonely, not so much.
I needs me some dick.

The One That Got Away

Stupid Local Radio Station chose five inferior haiku instead of mine for their contest. Piss on that! Tell me this isn't good!

My heart crossed a bridge
I thought I loved Ben, but now?
Angie rocks my world.

We were supposed to include the words "heart," "bridge," and "Ben" in our entries, which I'm 99% positive one of their winners didn't do. Whatever. They can suck it.

The First Post

Always important
make a good impression now
my very first words